Raising happy over-fives

Give your over-fives a positive start in life with our top tips for encouraging happy children

Published 01 Apr 2008
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A walk in the park “I love going for nature walks with my mum and baby brother. We look for leaves and acorns, and sometimes we find spiders and beetles — yuck!”

Alice, 5

Go camping You don't even need to go outdoors - the children will love making their own little den at home with blankets and cushions.
Let’s pretend “Scarlett and her friends love dressing up as princesses, fairies, doctors and nurses — and Spider-Man!”

Vanessa, mum of Saffron, 13, and Scarlett, 6

Read for pleasure “Reading is an ideal way to bond with your child, and it’s never too early to start,” says Ed Zaghini from the charity Booktrust. “Joining your local library costs nothing and they often run free rhyme-time or storytelling sessions, which children love.”
See your relatives “The children love get-togethers aunts and uncles, grandparents and cousins, and it’s really nice for them to be close to other adults, too.”

Helen, mum of Matthew, 9, Chloe, 8, and Ben, 5

Let’s dance! Have a dancing session at home. Put on different kinds of music, like pop, classical, fast, slow and boogie. Toddlers will enjoy standing on your feet as you dance.
Family fun Swimming at the local pool, bike rides and picnics in the park are all great ways for the whole family to spend time together having fun.
Splish, splash “Ben and Sam love splashing in the bath — I just enjoy the smile on their faces and don’t worry too much about the floor getting wet!”

Ed, dad of Ben, 5, and Sam, 3

Eat together as a family Busy schedules and long work hours mean families often eat at different times, but try to share some meals — it’s one of the best times to get together and talk.
Have a routine Children need to feel safe and cared in order to thrive, so establish regular times for meals and going to bed to help them feel secure.
Keep your promises… And don’t make promises you can’t keep! This will enable your child to feel she can totally trust you, helping her feel secure and confident.
Be a good listener Make time to listen to your child every day. You could start by asking her what the best thing she did today was.
Get involved at school “I like it when Mum comes into my classroom at school to look at my work and talk to my teachers. She knows who my friends are and I tell her what I’ve done in lessons.”

Scarlett, six

Be demonstrative Show you love your child: shower her with hugs and kisses and tell her how precious she is.
Watch our for good behaviour Focus on good behaviour and play down negatives. Try ‘catching’ your child when she’s being good instead of only noticing when she misbehaves.
It’s okay to say no sometimes Children need clear boundaries. Just let them know why you’re saying it, and show you understand the strong feelings it may provoke.
Don’t make fun of your child You are her most important teacher and good teachers don’t use sarcasm or insults.
Don’t argue in front of the children When children are asked what makes them miserable, quarrelling parents comes top of the list.

See things their way Children see the opportunity to have fun and adventure in everything they do. Sometimes it’s good to just let go, join in and enjoy yourself.

Find out more

  • Download a free copy of the NSPCC’s leaflet, Think Positive

  • BBC Parenting
    www.bbc.co.uk/parenting

  • Netmums
    www.netmums.com

  • The Complete Secrets of Happy Children by Steve and Sharon Biddulph (£12.99, HarperCollins)

  • Raising Happy Kids: Over 100 Tips for Parents and Teachers by Elizabeth Hartley-Brewer (£7.30, Da Capo Press)

  • What Every Child Needs Their Parents to Know – from 0 to 11 years by Jan Parker and Jan Stimpson (£10.99, Hodder & Stoughton)

  • Now read our feature on raising happy under-fives


 


Words: Sam Laurie. Illustration: Ana Diaz