"I forgot I had a baby son"
After an accident in 2007 left him with memory loss, dad Chris had to rebuild his life with the help of wife Julie and children Izzy, 13, Maddie, 11, and Finlay, 18 months
“I have no memory of my accident,” says Chris. “I was renovating the roof of our new house when the cherry picker I was standing on was hit by a truck. One minute I was at the window waving at Julie and Maddie, the next I was hitting the deck 30 feet below. I was in hospital in Leeds for eight weeks but I have no recollection of it.
“The first thing I remember is being in a room at York District Hospital. Julie would come in to visit and kept mentioning someone called Finlay. I was so confused at the time, eventually I had to ask her who she meant. You can imagine how awful I felt when I was told he was my four-week-old son. It was the worst feeling — but also the best. I didn’t even remember Julie being pregnant, now I had a
baby boy!
“At first it was tough bonding with Finlay — in my confused state I felt that he didn’t know me and I didn’t know him. But now we’re good pals — I love him so much!
“To see me now, you might not notice anything wrong with me. I have deafness in one ear and blindness in one eye. I have a long-term memory, but there are blanks before and after the accident. I’m not the same person. I used to be a fit guy before and played on the local football team. Now my muscles are weaker. I can walk again, but I can’t run. But every day I’m getting stronger. Now I’ve got a son I’m determined to be able to kick a football around with him!
“The accident also affected my daughters. After I came home, they’d get frightened if I walked downstairs or into the next room in case something happened to me. I was away with the fairies for a long time — I think it’s made them much closer to their mum. And they adore looking after little Finlay — it’s like he has three mothers!
“Our family dynamics have changed. I was always the man in charge of things like finances and business. Not that Julie wasn’t always a strong and confident type, but she could rely on me to deal with all that. But now she’s shown how strong she really is. She’s had to deal with everything on her own. I don’t think I could have coped with that myself, but those guys got through it.
“We’ve also had a lot of support from the brain injury charity, Headway. They help you pick up the pieces of your life. Julie and I are now on the committee of Headway York and we have a social every month. It’s lovely to speak to others who’ve been through rehabilitation and recovery and had the same feelings and concerns. I know how lucky I’ve been — I’d love to help people going through similar things.
“I wouldn’t put anybody through what I’ve been through, but I’m happier now, strangely. I’ve been so fortunate to start my life again. I know how amazing Julie is and how lucky I am to be married to her, and to have our kind and helpful girls. My family always comes first now.”
“It’s hard to explain just what that time was like,” says Julie. “We’d just moved house, had a four-week-old baby, and my husband was lying in a coma in hospital. At one point the doctors told me he was probably braindead and we might have to switch off his life-support machine. Even later, when they said Chris wasn’t going to die, I was still scared. With a brain injury, you don’t know if he’ll be able to walk and go to work again, or if he’ll need help just getting dressed in the mornings. I worried about how I’d manage if Chris completely changed. But as he started to improve and recognise everybody, it gave us hope.
“It was a huge relief when he was allowed home after three months in hospital. But it was all a bit much for him at first and he slept most of the time. He had regular physio and psychiatric sessions and slowly got back into the routine. He also got to spend lots of time with Finlay, so they’ve had the chance to get to know each other.
“The girls have coped really well. At times I have to explain their dad acts the way he does because of his injury. He looks normal and for the most part acts normal, but he has changed. He gets tired and finds it harder to concentrate. He’s less tolerant of rows and shouting. He’ll go into the next room and play the guitar or sit and think. I’ve changed, too. I’ve realised how much I can do on my own.
“Every day is a bit more normal now. Chris has made a better recovery than we dared dream of, and he’s working and driving again. We’ve been through a lot as a family, but we’ve grown stronger.
“After seeing your husband so close to death, the things that used to stress you out — kids’ homework or money worries – don’t seem important. We know what’s important now.”
Find out more
- Headway
www.headway.org.uk
0808 800 2244
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