Smacking
Lorraine Kelly, TV presenter and mum of one daughter, gives 'Your family' her honest opinion on smacking
I don’t believe in smacking as a method of punishment for a child who has done something wrong. I don’t think it works. When I was at school we were given the belt — a thick leather strap known as ‘the tawse’. I was regularly belted for talking in class and it hurt like hell, but it didn’t stop me chattering until the day they dished out punishment exercises instead. These took all night to do and that was the form of discipline that made me hold my tongue until break time. Corporal punishment didn’t work and that was why it was banned in schools.
I am lucky enough to have a pretty well-behaved child and I never had to smack my daughter. A stern word or the threat of stopping her doing something she loved worked for us. Like all parents, my husband and I just tried our best and muddled through hopefully.
In an ideal world, we would all have little treasures who never throw tantrums or push us as far as they possibly can just to see our reaction. But children know exactly which buttons to push.
Some parents do resort to smacking when they are at the end of their tether. While it is understandable how stressful the situation is, it is also the worst possible time to lash out physically at your child.
Most of us have witnessed the scenario in the supermarket where the harassed mother has given her child a smack for driving her up the wall. It only makes the child yell louder and makes her look out of control and deranged.
When I was on holiday in the US, I saw a woman repeatedly hit her small son on the head while yelling right in his face. She was calling him an idiot (amongst other things) and it made me feel physically sick. Before I could give her a piece of my mind, she dragged the poor little mite onto the bus, slapping and yelling. The worst thing was the dead-eyed stare of the little chap. What are the chances of him growing up into a child who uses violence to get his own way?
Most people would agree that smacking is wrong and that we shouldn’t hit our kids, but there are occasions when it can happen. My friend once smacked her son for constantly annoying their dog because she was worried he would be bitten and also because she thought he was being cruel. She phoned me in tears later, saying she was a terrible mother and how her son would be scarred for life. I had to reassure her that it wasn’t the end of the world — she was far more upset than her child.
So if you’ve smacked your child in the past, it doesn’t mean you are a bad parent. It means you are doing the best you can… but you could do better.
DO try and count to ten when you feel you are going to lose your temper and think of other ways to discipline your child.
What YOU think
"I was smacked as a child and promised never to smack my kids. Smacking never stopped me or my brothers being naughty, but I did resent my mum afterwards." Christine, mum of Natalie, 3, and Louise, 3 months
"It is very rare I hit my son, seven, as I do not believe in it. Yesterday I did, because he threw a stone at a kid and hurt him. I made him say sorry and felt sick later." S, mum of two
"The ITV show on smacking was awful — seeing children in fear of their parents and the way they are disciplined. I have never smacked my 17-month-old daughter and never will. There are other forms of behaviour management." Alice, mum of one
"An adult would not smack another adult, so why do they think it is okay to do it to a child? Because they are smaller? That’s bullying. All situations can be sorted out by talking or ‘time out’ to let both adult and child calm down. Smacking is derogatory and only increases violence. The same laws for hitting should apply to children and adults." H
There are alternatives to smacking: 1. Distract children; 2. Talk in a quiet voice; 3. Stop the child’s favourite treats. When all is calm, give cuddles, rewards and praise. Margaret
Do you have an opinion on smacking? If so, contact us — we’d love to hear from you.“You have to remember that you are the adult and set a good example — so however mad you feel, don’t show it or the kids will just do the same.”
Ellen, mum of Susie, 7, and Matthew, 4
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