How to bring out the best in your children
Help encourage and nurture your children with our simple tips...
One-to-one “If we sit down and do a page from a Gruffalo puzzle book together it calms Ellie before bed and gives us some quality time. One-to-one time, no matter how tired YOU are, is so important.”
Anna, mum of Lily, 6, Natalie, 4, and Ellie, 14 months
Learn together “Simple chores like laying the table and washing vegetables are great opportunities for children to practise counting and can help them learn their left from right. Having your child in the kitchen with you also means you don’t have to find other games or toys to occupy them. Everyone wins!”
Catherine Hanly, editor of www.raisingkids.co.uk
Feeling secure “I never leave my child to cry, as I believe a child who feels comforted and secure will be happier in the long run. Leaving your baby to cry doesn’t give her the sense of love and security she needs.”
Joanna, mum of Ariella, 2
Water fun “Bathtime is a great chance for you and your child to unwind. You can also encourage their learning skills by having fun playing with foam numbers and letters.”
Michelle, teacher and mum of Jessica, 5, and Brett, 2
Get quizzing “When my kids are slouching in front of the TV we switch it off and play ‘I spy’ or do spelling and general knowledge tests. The kids love it and we praise them individually.”
Dani, mum of twins Avi and Joshua, 6, and Tali, 4
Say "I love you" “Make sure the last thing you do each night is tell your kids you love them.”
Perrie, dad of Samuel, 4, and James, 1
Set an example “Children do what you do and not what you say. If I want Makena to be relaxed, I have to be relaxed. Or try as hard as I can to seem relaxed! If I want her to be kind, I have to be kind.”
Helen Hunt, actress and mum of Makena Lei, 4
Be positive "Help children express their disappointments and let them vent their frustrations through painting or active play, such as tearing up paper. Use rewards such as ‘star charts’ so that they remember all their different achievements.”
Dr Jeevi Mariathasan, NSPCC researcher
Just be fun “I show my children I can be fun and immature. I turn up the music and do silly dancing — this shocks my kids into losing their inhibitions and helps snap them out of a grump.”
Dalia, mum of Matty, 6, and Lia, 3
Listen to them “It’s important for children to know that they are loved and valued. Spending time with them and listening to what they have to say is really important for their self-esteem. Finally, being a positive role model will help them to grow into confident, responsible young people.”
Sue Ormesher, Parentline Plus
Quick play “My boys get bored easily so I involve them in activities that don’t take much time. When they get home from school all they want to do is watch TV, so I entertain them by helping them make play dough or fruit smoothies that they can enjoy afterwards.”
Sally, mum of Saul, 6, Joseph, 4, and Toby, 2
Clear the air “Even if I’ve had a really stressful day and my kids have been badly behaved, I always clear the air before they go to bed. Calmly discussing what they have done wrong, rather than shouting, makes for a happier home.”
Paula, mum of Constance, 8, Sam, 7, and Ruby, 4
Get them outdoors “Even if the weather is bad, I make sure I get my boys out of the house to burn off energy, or else cabin fever sets in. A bike ride or football in the park keeps boredom at bay.”
Suzanne, mum of Zack, 7, and Leo, 6
Special time “Having a one-year gap between my boys has meant bedtimes have always been a battle as they share bunkbeds and fool around. A friend suggested I stagger bedtimes and let my oldest son, who didn't need as much sleep, stay up an extra half hour. It was the best idea ever and meant he was getting the special ‘Mummy time’ he craved. Now bedtime is a far calmer experience.”
Suki, mum of Jamie, 7, and Benjamin, 6
Let them lead “When playing with your child let her take the lead from time to time by reflecting and responding to what she does. This can help increase a child’s sense of worth.”
Adrian Voce, director of Play England
Go to a museum “My best advice is to take your kids to an interactive museum that has things to do for all ages, such as film making, children’s theatre or arts and crafts. It stimulates creativity and imagination.”
Jonathan, dad of three
Give confidence “My two eldest kids were very clingy as I never left them with a grandparent or childminder. With my youngest two, I decided it was healthier to help them be independent, so I’ve often left them with friends and family and this has made them more outgoing and confident in new places.”
Sasha, mum of Ellie, 9, Joshua, 8, Rachel, 6, and Samuel, 3
Make music “Letting children experiment with musical instruments helps to develop their minds, teaches important skills and is fun too.”
Victoria Alter of Little Stars music group, and mum to Emily, 12, and Rebecca, 9
Create peace “When I was little my parents’ marriage broke down and my memories are of my mum and dad screaming at each other. In my own home, I ensure that voices are never raised – if my husband and I disagree we wait until the kids are in bed to sort it out.”
Lisa, mum of Zoe, 8, Tobias, 6, and Theo, 4
Praise them “I always see the best in my kids and shower them with praise for the good things they do, even if they are only drawing a picture or playing nicely. It is a great confidence-booster and praise works better than criticism!”
Shobha, mum of Rafi, 8, and Theo, 6
Find out more
- NSPCC
www.nspcc.org.uk
0808 800 5000
- Parentline Plus
www.parentlineplus.org.uk
0808 800 2222
- Play England
www.playengland.org.uk
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