"It's important to give toddlers routine"
Dr Linda Papadopolous, celebrity psychologist and mum of Jessica, 6, talks about behaviour, routines and children's TV
Why is routine important?
It helps children to learn through repetition and gives them boundaries. They feel safer as they’re more in control. With a bedtime routine, such as bath, book and then bed, kids know where they are. In the morning it works the same way — consistency means they can count on what stays the same, so they have energy to absorb all the new things going on around them.
What about when toddlers push boundaries and say "no"?
It’s very important to give toddlers routine and try to ignore tantrums, which are their way of establishing autmonomy. But they need to know what the boundaries are, so keep your messages consistent and toddlers will be less likely to throw a tantrum.
What routines do you use?
With Jessica, who’s nearly seven, I find our routines are very precious. In the morning we brush our teeth together and use an egg timer so she knows how long to do it for. When Jessica was younger, I let her watch Dora the Explorer while I did chores, and then we talked about the programme and what she’d learnt. That laid a great foundation for talking as, now Jessica’s older, we talk about what she’s done at school each day. At night time, we always read a chapter of a story each.
Children need to feel that you’re involved in their life, even if you’re not always with them. Asking questions is the best way to show that you care and are interested in what they’re doing.
What can parents do to reduce stress in the mornings?
Prepare your child in advance if anything changes in your routine. For example, if you have to get up earlier than usual, talk to her about why she has to get up early and set the alarm together the night before. If you are off on holiday, write out a tick list of everything she has to do before you go — wash face, brush teeth, pack hairbrush etc.
In the week, do as much as you can the night before, from packing school bags to making packed lunches. You don’t want to be stressed and start the day off by shouting. Preparation is everything!
Often, it’s how you say things that makes the difference — if you say instructions in a positive way and focus on children's good behaviour, they will be more likely to respond. For example, if your child's dawdling over breakfast, ask her to show you how quickly she can eat her cereal and praise her for eating up.
Sometimes we don’t notice our children when they’re doing well and only give them attention when they’re doing something we don’t like.
There’s a lot of negative press about children’s TV in the media — do you think some programmes can be beneficial to children’s development?
TV can definitely help teach children — it’s very picture-based like books, which children love. Also, it’s a great way of showing cultural diversity, which is the best way to normalise differences between people and teach acceptance.
The programmes in the Nick Jr morning block Wake Up World are all constructed with an educational psychologist so they are suitable for preschool children and contain appropriate messages. For example, in Dora and the Explorer, Dora asks questions and then waits for a response so the child watching has time to join in. If the child then gets the answer right, it really boosts her self-esteem.
How can parents get involved with their children’s TV watching?
Take your child's learning outside the programme — if she watches something about dinosaurs, visit a museum, read a book or research on the internet about dinosaurs. Ask her about her favourite dinosaur and discuss them — you can both teach each other things.
From watching Dora the Explorer, Jessica learnt how to count in Spanish and was so proud telling everyone. I’d ask her: What was the most surprising thing that happened? Was Deigo there? Where did they go?
Jessica also loved Wonder Pets! and I’d ask her about her favourite pet. I made sure I knew all their names and also had a favourite so we could discuss them — children want you to be part of their world and be excited about what they’re learning.
What do you think is most important to give a child?
Self-esteem and a sense of who she is, and the confidence to not to be afraid of making mistakes. Also, the security of knowing that you’re always there for her — that’s the most important thing to build your relationship.
What was your daughter’s most difficult stage?
I’ve been very lucky with Jessica — she spoke early and is very emotionally aware. But she did go through a stage when she’d only wear Mini Mouse dresses. It got so extreme, my mother said to me, “Linda, you’re the mental health expert, do you really think Jessica thinks she’s a mouse?”!
Dr Linda Papadopoulos is supporting Nick Jr’s new breakfast block, Wake up World, which runs on weekdays from 7-9am, and is designed to provide preschoolers with structure in the mornings.
Find Out More
- You can find Wake Up World at Nick Jr (Sky 615, Virgin 715 and Tiscal 318) and little ones can visit www.nickjr.co.uk/wakeupworld to watch their favourite mini-programmes again.
- Now read our features TV — How much is too much? and Floella Benjamin on toddlers and TV.
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